#without the context of my Entire OC Story it doesn’t have much impact and feels random

[bisexualocs]

my teacher didn’t like the bitsy game i spent forever on and she’s actually right about why it sucks 🥲 i thought it was good but now im just embarrassed lol

[sordm5]

Fallout: New Vegas Character Sheet / OC Questionnaire, 5k+ words

This is the part where I pray for consistency with my previous character essays...

The majority of these answers are from a character building perspective. Other perspectives are kept in parentheses. 

Mason Shepherd McCoy

which faction did they side with (NCR, legion, yes-man, or house)?

Unwittingly, he sided with the NCR. But he abandoned the cause shortly before the lead up to the Second Battle for Hoover Dam.

preferred armor?

He favors dusters, but beneath that, he usually dresses in raggedly layers. Cycling between two pairs of majorly distressed and ripped jeans, and collected vintage scarves he finds from abandoned buildings.

(In game, light armor. Specifically the courier fatigues from the Courier’s Cache mod, modded with the standalone Lonesome Road courier duster.  

Screenshots: front / back)

melee, guns, energy weapons, or unarmed?

Most skilled with a ranged bolt or lever action rifle.

After a compromising incident while he lived in Zion, Joshua attempts to teach him unarmed combat. But because Mase is a difficult, stubborn student, the lessons don’t continue on for long, and Joshua’s patience is tested to its limit.

highest skills? secondary skills? lowest skills?

His skill in everything aside from guns and repair are fairly mediocre, but his worst skills are definitely survival and unarmed. It’s pretty transparent that Mase’s priorities are focused on catering to his preference for gunplay.

(It’s hard to avoid having every skill high when level ups are forced on you, so I'm going to ignore in-game stats in favor of character development. Speech is the most notable skill I prefer to max out, but I don’t know if it’s exactly character-fitting for Mase considering he’s not actually a talkative person.)

SPECIAL stats?

3, 9, 6, 4, 7, 8, 3

what are their perks?

Confirmed Bachelor, babey. And Hand Loader. That one’s important.

(I'm not sure if this is asking me to list all perks my character has, but for the sake of not doing that – as it would be lengthy and tedious – I’ll leave it at these two.)

favorite companions? least favorite companions?

Mase adores Arcade more than he cares to admit. However, that adoration doesn’t overpower his own cowardice. He carries the weight of endlessly wondering what fate befell Arcade after Mase left the Mojave. He likes to...imagine he’s happy with the Followers, tending to new researches that could maybe benefit the public. The mental image distracts him from his guilt, at least.

The only other companion Mase was close with was ED-E. He doesn’t actively hate or dislike anyone, though.

any romantic partners? how do these relationships begin and end? are they healthy?

Yeah...Mase kinda...tries to pursue a relationship with Joshua, but it’s majorly onesided, and overwhelmingly unhealthy. Even Mase is aware of the unhealthy aspect, despite his feelings.

-

I’ve thought a lot about how to avoid making this sort of scenario lore-breaking. I can’t realistically picture, given what we see and know of him in-game, that Joshua would ever reciprocate any sort of romantic feelings anyone might have for him.

This might be my own interpretation, but I think by the time the courier meets Joshua, he’s resigned to live his life thinking he can find redemption through his faith. And I think he’s convinced himself to be wholly devoted to it. He even twists the biblical quotes he uses as excuses for his own internal anger. He needs to think that the things he does are justified by God.

Beyond the religious dedication, Joshua tells us that he feels indebted to his family, and the tribes of Zion, for welcoming him back like he had never done anything to shame them. After questioning him about his past, and the defeat he suffered, he ends with, "I will never be able to repay the debt I owe to them, but I must try." The way this is all presented leads me to believe there isn't much room in Joshua's life for anything else.

Also, on another note, one quote by Mr. Sawyer, who wrote the entirety of Joshua Graham’s character, stuck with me:

It's not as simple as being "set on fire". After suffering a terrible failure, he was humiliated by his superior and the people he commanded. He was cast out and left for dead. His entire reason for living was gone. When your entire way of life is completely destroyed, it has a profound impact on how you view yourself and your place in the world. [...]

Read the entire quote here.

There was also a quote, if I am indeed recalling correctly, by Josh Sawyer that expanded upon Joshua’s dialogue in-game that spoke about the love he received upon his return to New Canaan – about how he was in disbelief over it, how he thought he didn’t deserve it. But I can’t find that quote again, so don’t take my word for it.

I know that the developer’s input isn’t the “word of God”, and that Sawyer has said that he strongly dislikes when authors discourage fan interpretations and have an almost authoritarian hold over their stories. However, I still find it useful to reference dev commentary when expanding upon my own ideas.

Returning to the original point, as much as I’d really just like to say ‘they both lived happily ever after’ about my courier and Joshua, it’s not something I can picture happening. Joshua isn’t an ordinary man, and domesticity wasn’t ever an option for him.

-

There are some deeply self-indulgent scenarios I’ve written about for Mase and Joshua, and even in the more intimate pieces it always takes Joshua years to think it’s okay to even let Mase sleep next to him. So, I don’t imagine within the first year of staying in Zion anything even vaguely resembling intimacy would develop between them. Mase would have to come back to Zion after returning from the east coast and put a lot of work, time, and dedication into getting Joshua to open up on that level.

But, because I don’t feel fully confident in discussing my thoughts of how things change within the game post-canon-storyline (both base game and Honest Hearts/all DLC alike), these ideas and scenarios remain strictly self-indulgent. One detail I am comfortable saying that happens post-NV is that Mason does eventually come back to Nevada and end up settling there.

Since this is already a sort of a self-indulgent post about my oc, I will share some jumbled-context thoughts I’ve had. But keep in mind, if I were to keep this confined to my comfort on respecting the canon storyline and not exploiting it for my own purposes, this would have ended with Joshua never reciprocating, Mase leaving the west coast and returning at some indeterminate point, years later. 

With that being said...

Mase and Joshua argue about the feelings between them a lot. With Joshua it’s always “You understand my position, we’ve spoken about it countless times. You’ve said you understood, yet you continue to persist.” / “I know. And, I’m...sorry. I just can’t help but feel like I’m a nuisance to you. That the way I feel disgusts you-” / “You know that isn’t true-” / “You always push me away-” / “I’ve told you why-” etc, etc.

The closer they get, the more doubt Joshua begins to show, the more he pushes Mase away, and the more Mase wants reassurance that Joshua still finds him important, in some way. Joshua does value Mase’s companionship, but what Mase gives is unabashed love, and there’s a huge discrepancy in outward reciprocation. Mase tries his best to adapt and subdue how he feels – to try to understand and match the level at which Joshua keeps him. But it’s hard. A lot of “you don’t care about me like how I care about you” feelings.

Joshua insists the discrepancy isn’t true, and it’s only perceived that way by Mason. He loathes when he’s forced to remind Mason of his situation – of the path he’s chosen to take in his life, his dedication to it, after what happened to him at the Grand Canyon. How large the amount of atonement he owes. How, even if he wanted to break away from this path, there are still things he would never be able to do for Mason.

Of course, Mase tries to keep all of this in mind. But with the lack of communication, and the constant distance from Joshua, it’s hard to know if the boundaries are because of Joshua’s self restraint, or if Mase is truly no longer wanted. He’s just...very troubled and brokenhearted by it all, and the situation isn’t easy.

There’s also the awkward re-acquainting with each other after the years they spend apart. Which is disheartening to Mase because, before, he’d felt Zion was akin to a home due to the time spent there, and, when he comes back, it feels foreign – like there’s no place for him anymore. Everything looks and seems different. It takes a long while to get over that feeling.

Joshua looks different after all that time, as well. He never takes to fully discarding his bandages – it’s too personal for him – and his scarring doesn’t ever necessarily fade, but they do heal, lessen in severity, and subsequently cause him less pain. Because of this, he’s more comfortable exposing his forearms without bandaging, and the areas around his nose, mouth, and jaw. 

It takes Mase a moment to process this upon first seeing him again. In the past, he’d only ever seen Joshua without his bandages but one time, and it was because he’d been gravely injured and in recovery. He thinks it’s a good look for Joshua, though. And, more importantly, he’s overjoyed that he isn’t in as much pain.

Mase also continues travelling even after his return to the west. Especially between his home in northern Nevada and Zion. So it’s not as though he spends his every day with Joshua, although...he does try to persuade Joshua to visit his house and stay for awhile. Which he does eventually succeed at, after some complications on tribal responsibilities.

-

...tfw you set out to write about your own character and end up devoting the most time writing about Joshua Graham. To be fair, I have another huge character post about Mase that establishes way more about him, and I’ve been meaning to write about the dynamics with Joshua for awhile now.

yes, i’ve thought a lot about this. damn.

anyway...

doesn’t it suck when your first love after you get retrograde amnesia is a revenge obsessed warlord with misplaced dedication to a faith that he manipulates to lie to himself that his revenge obsessions are justifiable :(  real sad boi hours

gender / sexuality / ethnicity / species / etc.?

Boy/gay/???

He doesn’t know much about his ancestry, or the roots of his past in general. Doesn’t want to know. He’s pretty sure he’s human, though...maybe. But he’s also considered the possibility of being an alien misplaced on earth. Maybe...

He’s also not particularly attached to his biological sex. He is genetically male, and does predominantly identify as male, but it’s not something he feels is important or necessary to his identity as a whole. On a basic level, this applies to, say, clothing. If he found a dress appealing, he’d wear it without thinking much about what gender a dress was intended for. If that makes sense.

This sentiment is also applicable to sexuality. He doesn’t really label himself in any specific way. He just knows that the majority of people he’s found even somewhat attractive or appealing happen to be men.

where were they born/raised? when/why did they leave?

He doesn’t know.

when, why and how did they become a courier? how long did they remain a courier before benny shot them?

Again: part of a past that he doesn’t remember. Brings him anxiety over the thought of finding an answer to who he was before.

how did the bullet affect them?

Retrograde amnesia. His memories never returned. After awaking at Doc Mitchell’s, it was difficult for him to acquaint himself with who he was. He didn’t recognize his voice, his age, his appearance. Nothing felt familiar. His speaking patterns even sounded foreign to his own ears.

Other than that, recurring migraines that plagued him for weeks after his awakening.

how did they deal with benny?

He spared him. Read more here. 

what’s their reputation with the ncr / the legion?

Liked/Neutral

Mase aided the NCR whenever necessary, especially during the beginning of his travels in the Mojave. He refused to agitate the Legion. He never realized he was weaving himself into becoming a mercenary of war for the NCR, and, had he realized they were going to proposition him for such a task, he never would have helped to begin with.

In retrospect, after abandoning the Mojave, his regrets in assisting the NCR don’t add up to much. After consideration, he realized he would prefer an NCR victory as opposed to a Legion one. He’s aware there might have been a better alternative, had he stayed, had he put himself at the forefront of the decision making. But, he simply isn’t that kind of man.

what’s their reputation with goodsprings / novac / primm? (i know primm reputation was cut from the game but like let’s pretend for a minute sdkfjd)

His reputation with Primm would be the worst of all three, entirely due to his uncaring mistakes in handling finding new authority for the town. The NCR wasn’t the worst of the outcomes, but it still wasn’t favorable with the existing community, and Mase only realizes that after it’s far too late.

Goodsprings and Novac act as the friendliest respites Mase knows, and he is mostly in good standing with both towns’ residents. He assisted Goodsprings during the trouble with the Powder Gangers, and, similarly, assisted Novac’s trouble with feral ghouls.

what is their motive for taking vegas?

He doesn’t. Ideally, freedom for Vegas and Freeside would be what Mase would want, but he’s too prone to fleeing from pressure and stress. He doesn’t want the responsibility of an entire populace on his shoulders, and when presented with fight or flight in regards to the war for the Mojave, Mase chooses flight.

what do they look like? how tall are they? are they attractive? any piercings, tattoos, scars?

Just under 6′. Tanned, freckled complexion. Hair naturally dirty blond/light brown-ish, but frequently bleached lighter. Crooked, gapped teeth. He has multiple scars over his entire body, but half he can’t even remember the causes of. The most prominent ones being the bullet wound in his hairline, and the surgery scars from the Think Tank.

how old are they? do they know their birthday? if so, what’s their sign?

22 around the time of the events of Goodsprings. His birthday is November 22nd, information courtesy of his Mojave Express ID card, and not of his own memory. I suppose that makes him a sagittarius.

The only fitting quote I could find from a sagittarius horoscope was: “You are very critical of those around and of yourself and sometimes will prefer to isolate yourself.”

do they speak any languages other than english?

He doesn’t. He tries to learn the language of the Dead Horses and the Sorrows, but only retains basic phrases.

can they read, write, do math, sing? did they ever receive an education?

He is educated, but only utilizes his intelligence in areas that are practical to him. Like the kilometer calculations while adjusting his rifle scope. Other than that, he frequently writes in a journal that he received from the Mojave Express. Its primary function was to track deliveries, but he re-purposed it for personal use.

Mase is also somewhat of a collector, and, in his home, he has a guitar with rusted metal strings and a piano with many keys that don’t work (don’t ask about the complications of transporting the thing from an abandoned pre-war home to his own safehouse.) He aspires to fix them both and learn how to play them, and maybe write his own music, but he doesn’t often get time to do so.

what were their parents like? are they still on good terms with their parents?

Doesn’t know who his parents are. Doesn’t want to know.

what’s their d&d alignment? 

Starting off as neutral good, but quickly becoming chaotic neutral the longer his travels across the Mojave go.

how’s their karma?

Canonically neutral.

how do they feel about killing people? do they try to avoid it?

He doesn’t actively seek confrontation – he’s no murderer – but he doesn’t have any moral objections to killing if there’s a good purpose for it. Killing the “bad guys”, etc. He’s not a coward either, and he’s confident in his gunplay abilities.

do they take chems? if yes, when and which ones?

Other than admittedly using med-x a couple times in attempts to treat his insomnia, he tries not to dabble in drug use outside of meds for intended purposes. His preferred poison is alcohol.

do they gamble? where? is their luck good?

He doesn’t partake. The atmosphere of the casinos on The Strip gives him a deep sense of discomfort. A piece of the world, frozen in time, sheltered away from the destruction of the wastes that lay just outside the doors. Men in suits, focused on their greed, their only concern how much nicotine they can inhale.

In his tattered duster and ripped blue jeans, face smudged with dust and dirt, Mase feels horribly wrong amid all the leisure and recreation. It’s stifling.

where do they usually sleep? do they have more than one home location? do they live with any other people?

Throughout his campaign in the Mojave, Mase doesn’t ever keep a main base of operations. From his room at Novac, to the Lucky 38, to Zion, to anywhere he’s welcomed to rest his head for the night. He keeps his belongings down to what he can carry, or things he’s isn’t afraid of losing if left behind.

After his return to Nevada from his journey out east, Mase settles in an abandoned, lone ranch somewhere in the mid-north part of the state. It’s there, in his late-20s, that Mase truly finds himself able to call a location a home. He begins to collect more, and his safehouse soon turns into an unorganized, messy museum of sorts.

what are their favorite weapons? where did they get these weapons?

He’s partial to his rifles, both bolt and lever action alike. Namely, the Medicine Stick and Paciencia, courtesy of the Gun Runners. He takes to further customizing both rifles (and altering the customizations already applied).

do they flirt a lot? is it well-received?

Mase and Arcade have a platonically flirtatious relationship. Neither of them desire to take it further than that and are comfortable in their friendship. However...there are nights Mase remembers fondly: bedrolls haphazardly thrown onto the floor of whatever safe place they could find to rest in their travels, Arcade somehow ends up in Mase’s arms in the early hours of dawn, his head tucked into the crook of Mase’s neck, Mase’s fingers carding through Arcade’s hair as the haze of sleep slowly fades.

Though Mase later ends up developing feelings for Joshua while in Zion, he doesn’t dare anything close to flirting. He regards their relationship as too important for empty flirtatious comments, while also knowing it wouldn’t be received well anyway. Between them, it’s more of mutual respect and trust.  

At some point during Mase’s year stay in Zion, Joshua does clue in to the way Mase treats him, and what that alludes to. They speak about it, if very sparingly, and it can be summarized by Joshua vaguely referencing whatever is between them by saying: if Mase is waiting for something from Joshua, he’s waiting in vain.

do they goof around a lot? do other people find it funny or do they just entertain themselves?

Mase has short-lived moments of hyperactivity, but is usually more stoic in nature. He recalls his time spent with Arcade as having some of the more expressive moments in his life. So it’s to be said that he has the ability to be a more humorous or entertaining person as long as he’s comfortable around the company he’s with.

what do their companions think of them? are they close? have they done any companion quests?

He doesn’t stay with anyone long enough to become truly close to them, aside from Arcade.

ED-E is Mase’s first real travelling companion. After repairing the eyebot, Mase decides to keep it and regards it as little more than an extra weapon. The longer the road takes them, the more Mase finds himself talking into the open air about a myriad of things. Sometimes it’s a mess of world salad and scattered thoughts – the product of distant feelings of deja vu and the many migraines the bullet wound had caused.

The more this happens, the more Mase starts feelings like ED-E is listening to him. Maybe the beeps that he gives aren’t indicators that he’s listening and are just coincidence, but all the same, Mase starts to see a personality in ED-E, and starts to think of him as less of a weapon and more as a friend.

On a fittingly drunken night at the NCR Mojave Outpost, Mase crosses paths with Cass. He enjoys her attitude and her humor, and more than delights in sharing a bottle of whiskey or two- or three, or four. Beyond that first night of drinking challenges and hazy blackouts, and a few following encounters, Cass and Mase don’t stay as travelling companions. Fast friends over a bottle of brew, but nothing more.

Later, but still early in his travels, Mase finds himself with his hands full in Novac. It’s here he helps Boone uncover the truth about the person who disposed of his wife. He agrees to arrange the revenge without hesitation. There’s not even a droplet of blood on the red beret atop Mase’s head; he doesn’t flinch when Boone takes the shot.

Unfortunately, Boone’s animosity and hostility towards the Legion prevents them from travelling together. Mase understands, and it’s left at that.

As for Arcade, well...some of Mase’s largest regrets concern Arcade; how he feels he must have let him down after he’d left. He’d known of Arcade’s ideals, about his feelings towards what he’d wanted for the the people of Freeside, and Vegas as a whole. The wayward feelings of hope Arcade found in him. The rare moments of open vulnerability in the secrets Arcade shared of his past. Just how many things were shared between them, and how Mase let it go to waste for nothing – for his own cowardice.

For as much as having someone close to him by his side gave Mase strength, it also added to the weight of expectation from the pressure he already felt. Arcade wasn’t enough to change that. Nothing was.

do they draw, paint, play any instruments?

His main creative outlet is his journal. Writing and doodling little sketches. He doesn’t consider it a “real” art form, though.

how do they deal with injuries? do they use stimpaks, healing powder, med-x? does a companion help them? can they bear a lot of pain, or do they need to attend to injuries immediately? when they do have to see a doctor, do they have a preferred doctor, or do they just see anyone?

Mase has a high threshold for pain. The first time he’d been seriously injured (from memory) was during the shootout in Goodsprings. A bullet had pierced his upper left arm, thankfully missing any arteries, and became deeply lodged without breaking through the other side of the impact site. He remembered noticing he’d been struck was delayed, his arm had felt hot, wet, and uncomfortable, but almost indistinguishable through the adrenaline.

Once he noticed the red stains from the hole in his jacket, he stared wide-eyed and pale at the blood flowing from the open wound, the pain spiking like a blistering heat. He didn’t know what to do with himself; didn’t groan, didn’t cry, just stood with a lost look. He was in good company, though, and Doc Mitchell was there to care for the wounded.

Subsequent injuries have been reacted to with similar disconnect. He understands the importance of tending to wounds through the lecturing on infection from the Doc, and because of this tries to treat injuries as urgently as possible. However, if he can help it, he’d rather take a stimpak and slap a bandage over the wound and call it done. Fortunately, Arcade doesn’t let him get away with that one very often once they start travelling together.

have they ever been irradiated? how did they deal with it? did it have lasting effects?

In contrast to the high pain tolerance, Mase cannot handle radiation. In slight doses, it’s manageable, but when his Pipboy near deafens him with its Geiger clicking, like clockwork, the nausea immediately sets in. It debilitates him, and the contamination to his body never settles until he flushes it.

He recalls an instance of trying to bear with the radiation, barely dragging himself up the road from Novac, forcing himself to try to tough it out. He realized he’d made a mistake when he started profusely vomiting, and immediately checked his Pipboy for the nearest medical help.

Trudging up the slopes to Camp Forlorn Hope, Mase manages to make his way to the medical tent, limbs shaking and fatigued. Of course, Dr. Richards insists on helping him, having already been acquainted with the doctor from previously assisting with missing medical supplies. Mase had been hoping on a return of kindness when he’d chosen Forlorn Hope, while also not averse to being sweet-talked.

It seemed simple enough, let Dr. Richards hook an IV to his upper forearm, relax, and let the Radaway do its job. But...Mase had been shaking and hyperventilating from the nausea, and right as Dr. Richards offered him a reassuring “It’s going to be all right, buttercup”, Mase lurched and vomited on the doctor’s shoes.

Needless to say, one of his top most embarrassing moments.

in conversation, are they kind? gentle? sarcastic? rude? do they speak warmly and openly with people, or are they more guarded? do they talk a lot?

Generally very soft spoken, with little to say, especially in regards to strangers or people he’s just met. A monotone speaking pattern, with tendencies to a blunt manner of speaking his mind.

However this changes the closer he is to someone. He becomes more adaptive to the other person’s speaking patterns, becoming more or less talkative depending on the personality of his partner.

do they like long journeys through the mojave, or do they prefer to travel more quickly? do they prefer using roads or travelling through the deep desert?

It depends. He’ll have bouts of wanting to travel long, deserted stretches of land, leaving time to himself and his thoughts. No companions. And other times he’ll prefer to stay to more populated areas, not wanting to be alone, and dreading the idea of being left with no one but his own thoughts to keep him company.

name a random fact about your courier.

He has hang-ups about his name. For the first few months of his “new” life, he didn’t have a name, and was simply called “Courier” – which doesn’t entirely die out, even after he discovers his real name. The title “Courier” is something he more familiarly associates with his being/existence/person.

A continuous problem that his amnesia left him with was the inability to grasp or understand who he was. As time goes on and Mase becomes more self aware, this effect does diminish, but the conflicting feelings he has about his name remain. Sometimes he feels like his name is an important identity – one that he’s afraid of losing again, and sometimes he wants absolutely nothing to do with it.

When he leaves the Mojave, he throws his first name away completely, and takes to only telling people his middle name. Arcade had called him “Mase” consistently, with fondness; Joshua had only ever called him “Mason”, never the shorthand version. Somehow, that felt important. He didn’t want these memories to resurface – he didn’t want to remember what he’d left behind, or feel that pain – so he abandoned the name completely.

do they watch movie holotapes? what are their favorites? least favorites?

(Say The Man With No Name trilogy exists in the Fallout universe. That would undoubtedly be Mase’s favorite.

I admit I haven’t thought much about this sort of thing. The main kind of entertainment I imagine Mase consuming is mostly the radio. In-game, we have Radio New Vegas and Mojave Music as far as music/entertainment goes, but I like to think there would be other stations where the main focus is storytelling. Reruns from pre-war times, and newer stations featuring people recounting tales from the wasteland.)

what do they do with the lucky 38? do they like being there? do they leave their companions there? if they’re a yes-man courier, do they open it back up as a casino?

Much like how Mase feels towards the rest of The Strip, the Lucky 38 is a stifling, unwelcoming environment. He takes advantage of the shelter and amenities given, but he knows he’s being watched – being kept close like a useful tool, exactly how most factions and people in power treated him. He doesn’t make a habit of using the Lucky 38...but, he does like the convenience of running water.

what do they do after hoover dam?

Wanders out east towards Ronto. It’s possibly the most aimless 4 years of his life. He has no purpose, he falls onto self-destructive behavior, and loses what little sense of self he was able to garner from his time in Nevada and Utah. Ultimately, after confronting many internal fears and doubts, with not a slight bit of soul-searching, Mase makes the decision to go back home to Nevada.

how do they die? how is their death received, by the mojave and by their companions?

... (I haven’t gotten that far. I’ve only just barely decided Mase settles in Nevada, which is dependent on an NCR Hoover Dam victory. Which is extremely important to how things change in west coast territories. And thinking of Mase’s future involves thinking of the future of Nevada and the west as a whole. I don’t know if I’m capable of handling the weight of the aftermath of the NV storyline with my meager ideas.

I do imagine Mase would die from a shot to the head, though. Seems fitting.)

what are their vices? are they an alcoholic, a thief, a hoarder?

Mase has always had a proclivity for alcohol – these habits severely abate during his time in Zion, and then rise to a destructive level of full alcoholism during his time out east.

Hoarding has a negative connotation to it, right? Generally collecting garbage, and other trash? Mase collects items he finds to be interesting in his home in Nevada, but it’s not rubbish. It’s more of a collection similar to the likes of a museum.

can they cook, and if so, what do they cook? what are their favorite & least favorite foods?

Despite having less-than-useful survival skills, Mase is very interested in cooking recipes. The easiest and most satisfying one to follow is the desert salad, with more difficult recipes being mushroom cloud and wasteland omelette. He’s only had the opportunity to cook the latter two once each (thanks Quarry Junction and Bloodborne cave), and he savored every moment of both meals.

Another favorite would be iguana bits – a food he’s tried to replicate, but can’t quite pin the recipe for down. Besides that, he admittedly has a palette for pre-war sweets. Fancy Lads have a specifically...gone off...flavor about them, but he enjoys them all the same.

did they kill caesar? vulpes inculta? what about prominent ncr figures, like kimball and colonel hsu?

He doesn’t kill any prominent figures. Perhaps if he had been a different person, he would have been openly hostile toward the Legion – he disagrees with their values, and despises their leader – but this was not the life he felt he could lead. He already had enough paranoia about the prospect of having enemies coming back to kill him from the life he couldn’t remember, let alone adding to that by agitating any specific faction or group.

/

I deleted some questions I felt were already answered well enough in previous posts about Mason. Namely: this one.

I also just deleted things I didn’t feel like answering because it was too much effort.

The companions question is unfinished because I felt like that bit was getting really unorganized and chunky to read. So, some companions are omitted. May go back to this and edit it / add more to it.

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Sander Sides Fic Rec

I’ve been reading some awesome fics on AO3 and I’d thought I would share them with others on Tumblr to check ‘em out if you haven’t yet!

Growing up Parts of a Whole by @amydiddle-fanfiction - Side by Side; Piece by Piece. While Thomas grew his sides did too. Each one a different part of him and each one developing on their own time before they were allowed out to interact with the others. They all have their story on how they formed and became aware of themselves and they each played their part even before they manifested in the physical world for the first time.

Notes: Ever wondered what the Sides were like as children? Then this fantastic series of oneshots & short novellas is for you! The wordbuilding in this is wonderful and the characterizations are great. 

In a Tizzy by @coconut-cluster -  "Headcanon that Roman acts so confident that the others rarely ever think to compliment him. He’s not used to being complimented, so on those rare occasions where he is, he gets all quiet & blushy & flustered."

Notes: This one was based on a tumblr post that was going around awhile back by @peachy-pattoncake. Prepare to have your heart destroyed by angst and then reconstructed by fluff. Logan discovers that Roman acts unusually flustered after he compliments him and in true Logan fashion decides to test out a hypothesis on this.

A Little Bit Naughty by @princessdarth-vader​ - Logan's parents have called him some terrible things. The truth is, he's a genius, and they're the stupid ones. Logan is determined to get his own back, and soon discovers he has a special power. With the help of his closest friends and some helpful grown-ups, Logan must unearth a secret far larger than himself in order to right the atrocities committed against him and change his story for good. Strap in, folks. It's the Matilda! AU that no-one asked for

Notes: Regrettably I’ve never read the book or seen the musical for Matilda, but this AU is still awesome as heck to read, even if you’re coming into the story without knowing that context. It features kid!genius Logan, Emile as a friendly librarian, Thomas as Logan’s kindergarten teacher and Roman and Patton as fellow students. The characterizations in this are great--Logan and the others are clearly children but still retain their personalities.

Within Bounds by Immortalnite -  It was the middle of winter when all the crops across the kingdom failed. The Winter Solstice, in fact, though almost no one knew that.

Notes: This fantasy au only has two chapters out but definitely deserving of a lot more love. It features Roman as a prince last in line for the succession of the throne being tasked by his father to contact the Elves for a solution to the crops problem. The writing is beautiful and the worldbuilding is terrific.

More Fic Recs below the cut!

Space (All I think about is you and me) by @hahanoiwont​ - They're all together when Virgil spaces out for the first(?) time. After being accepted, Virgil is becoming less anxious. Unsurprisingly, he is anxious about it.

Notes: This is a wonderful fic with fantastic worldbuilding that hinges on a slight AU. This perhaps features my favorite characterizations for both Virgil and Deceit. It takes place shortly after Virgil is welcomed into the famILY and the author does a good job of showing how Virgil is still adjusting to the fact he doesn’t put up the scary bad guy persona anymore. Deceit, on the other hand, is morally grey in this story. Neither friend nor foe, though he does lean towards the sympathetic side. I think the author handles his character tastefully.This fic does feature the author’s dark!side OCs but like w/ the canon characters they’re written well As you can see from this paragraph-long comment, I really really enjoy this fic!

The Consequences of Sound by Acantha_Echo - Anxiety hurts Thomas. It's just what he does, what he has always done. It's not what he wants. He only wants to protect him but that is easier wished for than done.When the opportunity to prove himself opens up to him, he grabs it, for once not caring about the consequences.Things go downhill from there.The fall, rise, fall (and rise again) of Virgil.

Notes: This fic follows Virgil from Thomas’ childhood to the present-ish. The current chapter takes place on the timeline around Losing My Motivation and My Personality Q&A. It features manipulative!Deceit who claims to be Virgil’s “friend.” Man, this fic is REALLY GOOD. There will be parts where your heart is torn into pieces because of Virgil’s predicaments. Please go read it if you can.

Fanged Friend by Demon_Writer - It burned. It scorched. The longer he waited the more intense it grew. He's never woken up so early with so much hunger. His breaths were like sharp icicles coming up and down his windpipe. Damn. He’s never been this hungry before. Every shuffle of feet and breath directed towards him was unnaturally..... tempting. Virgil's fangs pricked at his tongue and his eyes narrowed, but his mind couldn't have been any foggier. Virgil's worried he might end up taking more than just blood. At this rate it can only escalate.

Notes: Hi friends! Do you love vampires? Because BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU. What originally started out as an oneshot turned into a multi-chapter story with fascinating vampire lore and intriguing plot. It’s definitely one of my favorite fics to date!

Logan’s Room by @galacticallynonbinary​ - Logan Sanders knows everything. He has nothing new to learn. He's never talked to the other sides; there is nothing they could possibly teach him. But when they come knocking, his entire viewpoint comes into question

Notes: This is an oneshot, but it’s so wonderfully written that I had to include it in this fic rec! It’s just under 1k, but the characterizations are awesome and it’s based off the Mary’s Room thought experiment except with Logan and it’s great!

Written on Paper by @galacticallynonbinary​ - Logan is in charge of facts. They all come to him on small pieces of paper. Sometimes, they fly in on paper airplanes. The paper planes taunt him, and paper storms and paper avalanches make him worry for the other sides.Or: Idioms are real and incredibly distressing

Notes: Yes it’s another fic by galacticallynonbinary, and it also features Logan, but it’s such a clever fic I had to include it as well! I love how they take idioms and make them take on literal forms in the mindscape. This fic has a snowball effect where things become progressively worse and worse for Logan until the climax hits and I love how it keeps you on the edge of your seat.

Wings of Anxiety by Shadecrawler - Virgil normally kept his wings pressed tight against his back. He never let them out to stretch when he was outside his room. Yes, they got sore after a little while and yes, it rustled his feathers to the point that it took forever to groom them.But, he couldn’t take them out. He just couldn’t. Dark Sides didn’t have wings. Only Light Sides did.

Notes: I’m always a sucker for hurt/comfort and this fic definitely hits that sweet spot. Plus, I adore wing!au fics in general. Thomas is featured heavily in the second half of this two-shot and that’s always a plus!

A Letter from Me to You (For Better or Worse) by writing_regen - Fate may have some ideas on who we can be. Yet we are the only ones that can see it through. There is a disconnect between who we were born to be and who we become. That gap - that uncertainty, is where others can find room for exploitation.

Prince Logan has always felt out of place, even with his advisor Patton at his side. Roman, a tailor winding the streets in hopes of something greater won't let his dreams be crushed, even as Virgil tries to act as the only reliable voice of reason in his life. Around the corner hides another dark twisted tale of dreams, and it knows what it needs to get what it wants.

Notes: This is a brand new fic but I’m definitely excited to see where it goes! The author stated in their notes that it’s based off the Princess and Pauper. I already love the dynamics of Patton’s and Logan’s relationship in the first chapter--they’re childhood friends who’ve grown up together, with Patton being the one to drag Logan along for adventures.  

Redemption of a Prince by @anxious-baby-nightmare -  Roman feels as though his behavior is negatively impacting the rest of the group and tries to change himself for the better. But is that what everyone else thinks?

Notes: Hey do you love Roman “Princey” Sanders? Do you love angst? THEN THIS HERE IS THE FIC FOR YOU. Don’t worry, though it’s angst with a happy ending. This was a fun ride from start to finish, and I loved the author’s worldbuilding with the mechanics of the Imagination.

[yasuda-yoshiya]

I haven't delved much into KH lore, but I think there's something wrong when the main character is shoehorned into a plot that's essentially the same from the previous arcs repetitively along with a character that seems to be the love interest, while several others you never got to play as (or very temporarily playable), gets much further characterization and their new resolutions. The only ones that are interesting in Sora's party is Donald and Goofy btw. Anything about Riku and Mickey though?

Hmm, well, strictly from a storytelling perspective, I think I basically agree with you! Pretty much all the really interesting plot developments and character moments in KH3 are completely divorced from the person whose PoV you’re stuck inhabiting for most of the game, and Sora pretty much spends the whole game doing absolutely nothing of any importance while all the actual plot progression happens away from him. And in terms of what makes a good story, yeah, that’s basically terrible, but I honestly feel like I can basically understand why they did it because frankly, Kingdom Hearts as a series is in a very weird position at this point. The main appeal of the series to the vast majority of the casual audience is its supposed “Disney magic” and getting to explore the worlds from various Disney movies, but the actual main plot of the series at this point is an absolutely impenetrable and convoluted mess of original characters and plot threads that’s about as far away from any kind of “Disney magic” as you could possibly get.

With that in mind, it pretty much makes sense to me that they’d want to just shove the main plot out of the way entirely for most of the game and just focus on Sora’s random adventures in Disney worlds, because it’s honestly gotten to the point where the presence of the main plot actively detracts from the supposed central appeal of the game for most people. It allows KH3 to be enjoyable as a stand-alone experience to the average person who doesn’t give a crap about the overarching mess of the Kingdom Hearts plot and just wants to enjoy some Disney fanservice (and let’s be real, this probably describes at least 80% of the people who actually bought the game). Games like KH1, Days and BBS could manage to do a passable job of integrating some characterisation and plot development into the Disney stuff without being too jarring to the casual audience, because those games told basically self-contained stories. You don’t need to be a KH Lore Maniac to follow, say, Ven’s character arc through BBS. But KH3? KH3′s plot is all about tying up loose ends and resolving the stories of various characters from other games. Nothing about KH3′s plot makes any sense or has any real impact as a standalone, and it would probably be a fool’s errand to even try to make it work as one, because it just has way too much baggage from the ongoing series-wide plot that it has to resolve. So rather than trying to give Sora a quest that actually ties into the main plot in some way, they just decided to put the plot to one side and lean into unapologetic filler instead. I can sort of respect that.

The way I see it is… well, let’s put it this way. As a Kingdom Hearts fan, I could totally draw up an alternative outline for KH3 that has Sora making more of a meaningful journey and progress throughout the game, and integrates the main plot into the Disney stuff better. The focus of KH3 is about Sora saving the hearts and healing the pain of the people connected to him, the people whose pain was forgotten until now. So why not make the plots of the Disney worlds focus more on having him come to understand these people better, to get more of a focus on why it’s so important to bring them back? Let’s have the Olympus Coliseum chapter involve a subplot where, say, Sora finds out from Phil about the time Roxas spent training there in Days, and Phil talks about how much potential he showed and how he really misses the kid. Let’s spend more time explicitly drawing a connection between the toys having hearts in Toy Story and the way Xion developed her own heart despite being an artificially created puppet. Let’s parallel Rapunzel’s situation in Tangled with Namine’s in CoM, and make the plot of that world about Sora regaining the memories he lost from CoM (heck, Marluxia’s even right there and briefly brings this up in the actual game already!), reminding him of just how much Namine suffered and how much she deserves to be saved. And so on, and so on.

And that would probably make for a much more solid and cohesive game, and give the overall plot a lot more weight… but could you actually realistically present that kind of plot in a way that wasn’t totally alienating to the casual audience? Are you really going to be able to give enough emotional context for the average uninitiated player to grasp and care about all these different plotlines just through flashbacks and exposition? Are there really that many people who actually want to see the plot of Tangled used as a vehicle to revisit the plot of a 2004 GBA game, or are people just going to be frustrated at these hugely popular Disney movies being taken over by weird anime OCs they don’t care about? Professional reviewers are quite understandably panning the game already just for the very minimal intrusions of the convoluted main plot into the Disney stuff “breaking the magic” as it is, so it’s hard for me to imagine that any more of that would really be well-received by and large, however much the story might technically benefit from it. This is the sort of problem we run into when a game has to try and simultaneously appease two distinct audiences with entirely different priorities. Giving the main plot a very minimal presence for most of the game and then shoving the entire resolution into the last few hours is an imperfect solution, but I’m also not really sure what else they could realistically have done, given the setup KH3 had to work with.

In the end, I’m basically content with the compromise. I think they did a decent job of making a game that stays mostly enjoyable and accessible as a wacky Disney adventure for the casual audience, while still tying up most of the big overall plot threads that needed to be tied up in a reasonably satisfying way (a few very questionable writing choices aside… but it’s Kingdom Hearts, what else is new). It would have been nice to have had more build-up and substance to these characters’ resolutions, and to actively focus more of the game on them, as you suggest - but the more time the game spends pandering to overall series fans, the more time it also spends alienating everyone else. I think in the end we just have to accept that the build-up and context for their resolutions was in the previous games, that the people who really care about the series’ story will have played those games already, and for the people who haven’t, it just probably wasn’t worth devoting too much effort to trying to make them care within KH3 itself. That’s my take on it, at least.

On Riku and Mickey... hm, well, aside from them obviously being OTP material as always, neither of them really got to do much in this game? So I don’t really have much to say about them in particular. I thought the idea of Riku feeling a personal connection to Aqua’s plight as someone trapped in the darkness was sweet, but then they didn’t really do anything with that or let them actually interact at all in the end, so it felt like wasted potential. The BBS characters in this game were just a big disappointment in general, really! They could easily have done much more with them than they did, without even changing the structure of the story much... but, uh, I’m talking about Riku, sorry. I feel like Riku’s never really done much for me as a character, beyond like, KH1 and maybe CoM. I can see the outline of his arc on paper, and it seems fine and potentially interesting, but the execution has always felt pretty by-the-book and lacking in nuance to me. They talk very generally about him “falling to darkness” and such, but they don’t ever get beyond that into actually having him wrestle with his guilt over specific things, like his time working with DiZ or kidnapping the princesses or contributing to Roxas and Xion’s sacrifices, so it all feels a bit too broad to particularly connect with - and it’s sort of hard for me to really give weight to things like “I wore a blindfold for a whole year because I couldn’t stand looking at myself”, when that’s juxtaposed with him flipping right back to being a perfectly functional and confident hero without much apparent struggle or lasting difficulty after just a few platitudes from Sora. It’s sort of like they flip between being broadly melodramatic about his issues and shrugging them off completely? So he’s never really clicked with me, personally.

Meanwhile, Mickey is kind of hard for me to take all that seriously as a character beyond the memes, since... I mean, he’s Mickey Mouse, so there’s a big mental block there, lol. But even if I put that aside and look at his writing in KH in isolation, he never really felt like a particularly deep or interesting character or anything, I think? His relationship with Riku is very sweet, though!

[bates-angela]

5, 13, 14, 26, 32, 35, 45, and 50, please! ^^

From this meme :)

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

Most recently, Summer Rain makes me really happy to reread because I wanted it to take readers on an intense emotional journey in not that long of a story. It begins with a gut-wrenching “What If?” alternate happening, and then it brings in the romance of one of my favorite songs (story namesake) that partially inspired this fic. That, and the prompt “Dreams” ended up coming together perfectly. Side note: I’ve been considering getting a line from this song tattooed on my forearm, and I also have a SoulBates tattoo in mind I eventually plan on getting.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today? 

Unlike when I first started, I believe I write my OTP from a lot less of a position of shock or controversy. After probably the first 2/3-ish of TBTGA, it becomes more of a given that Norma(n) are soulmates and romantically together as they’re meant to be. Any problems with it come from outside sources that need to be extinguished, and they become comfortable enough to get even more erotically adventurous. But I don’t want to spoil it any further ;) For those who haven’t read it, go do it. It’s worth it. It lays out so much context for other fics I’ve spun off it and most likely will again.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I don’t know if my taste has changed all that much from the time I first discovered I was a SoulBates until now. Okay, I DO read large amounts of mother/son and aunt/nephew Literotica now LOL I also have a much more developed taste in BDSM scenarios, particularly with Domme Norma and Domme Emma-Christine. I never liked or wanted Norma paired with anyone but Norman, unless you count some occasional sister-on-sister bedroom fun. The two shall-not-be-named canon-show ships forced on the Bates fandom have always made me want to vomit and that’ll never change. Unlikely as it may seem, I have developed some greater empathy for Alex Romero, which stems from what happened to him in my 40-chapter epic. Much more from writing that than from his eventual fate at the end of the canon series. Actually, that seemed almost anti-climactic to me by comparison.  He next has a storyline in unfinished Belle Fleur. I don’t know his end game in that story yet. Time will tell after I pick up writing it again.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

I love to hear my erotic scenes are “hot as hell,” or some equivalent phrase. When that happens, I feel I’ve let other SoulBates shippers know it’s OKAY to love this pairing, that the love between these two is beautiful and meant to be. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying it, and anyone who says the contrary can fuck off.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

Norma Bates, undoubtedly. Before writing anything, I think about how I can capture the core of her character, no matter what the AU story is and how much I’m working to make it new and different. Her boundless love for Norman, her need to protect him, her need to feel loved and protected herself, and her desire to build a good, happy life for them both: It feels natural and flows with whatever situation I’m writing them both into. Some might think Norma’s OC sister would be this effortless, but it actually takes more effort in the story-telling to set her apart. Of course, that challenge is an enjoyable one. 

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

As amazing as it seems to me now, GSA-Dylemma started out unintentional in my first (and so far longest) fic. This would grow into a ship I love as much as SoulBates, and I’ve been told I’m not the only one there, which makes me very happy :-D Reading through especially the first five chapters, it’s fairly apparent I had an Agent Spoole/Alex Romero pairing in mind, from the way those two interact. But when Dylan shows up uninvited and unwelcome by Norma on the doorstep, it’s a game-changer when aunt and nephew meet for the first time. The more it progressed, the better it felt to me. I was learning a lot about the real life experience of genetic sexual attraction at the same time, and it felt so right to pursue this relationship between Dylan and Emma-Christine in the story. From the storm of conflicting emotions in their minds at the beginning to the explosive satisfaction when it turns physical, it doesn’t feel wrong at all. It felt right then, now, and going forward.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

My genre would be erotica, if I had to pick one. I’ve had beginnings of original stories in my head, and no: not all of them are of consanguinous pairings. Some are centered on age gaps, femme domme BDSM, same-sex, and other lovely subject matter. Of course with any kind of erotica I’ve written, I like to throw in a generous dose of romance as well.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

It’s had a wonderful impact on my life. I’ve made awesome friends and long-lasting connections through this fandom, all of which I really hope will last for years to come. It’s directly tied to how I was enlightened to the reality of consanguinous love and unfortunately the very ugly prejudices against it. Writing this kind of alternate-universe fanfiction has taught me that if you love your OTP beyond reason, and you want more for them than the canon-show writers have given us: Get off your ass, shut up your whining about it, and write your own version, your own AU with a different life for them. If you have enough drive and passion for it, it can become (in a sense), your own reality for this fictional world - which is the best way I can think of to explain it. Chances are excellent others feel the same way; therefore you can end up putting something out there that’s incredibly valuable to them as fans. So I’d say very close to all of it has been positive. The end results of hours of story-crafting are such amazing feelings that any opposition feels like completely insignificant and fleeting background noise.

I loved answering these! I’d love to get even more in my inbox

[0poole]

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Good God.

I finally managed to watch the final episodes of the show, and even though it wasn’t the most pitch-perfect ending ever (and even though I skipped like all of the final season), I still gotta dish out my thoughts on the whole thing. It’s not my tippy-top most favorite show, but it’s definitely the one with the most lasting impact on me. I mean, considering it created one of the biggest fandoms of all time, I’m pretty sure I’m far from alone there.

Obviously have to start from the beginning. I think I got into MLP around the 2nd season, maybe in the middle of it but definitely before the 3rd. I don’t exactly remember, since it was so long ago, but the first two seasons might hold some of the most saccharine, mindless nostalgia of all. Every single episode holds some spot in my memory, even the filler episodes with the cheesy notes to Celestia at the end of them. Honestly those were adorable, even if they were the classic kid’s show trope of “Let’s explain the moral to the kids who don’t have half a brain” but it’s actually pretty charming. That’s nostalgia talking, by the way. Obviously. If I found a new show today that did that, I’d roll my eyes a little, and I probably did when I was first watching the show. 

But, it’s an understatement that this was my life. Of course, I was at that time of my life where one thing could very easily become my entire world, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter to me. The pretty solid, unchanging artstyle gave me an opening to try and draw it, and for years I exclusively drew ponies, and even when I had a human character, I’d only be able to draw them in pony form, so I ended up meshing their stories into fanfiction on how they could become ponies. My “Icon” character at the time, Satyr, was probably the first original character I drew, and I can still remember the exact drawing I made of him. Obviously a pony, he was sort of larger and masculine, conveniently blinking eye so I didn’t have to deal with that, basic hair/tail styles, and for some reason a jagged zig-zag pattern going laterally across his body, like those “How would a horse wear pants?” memes. I thought it was really good, so I kept going, and here I am ages later still drawing stuff. I couldn’t even bare to fully ditch the shitty characters I made (and I’m going to explain them without context because I just feel like it): Satyr got split into his immortal and prince-ly side; Diane, a manic serial killer, shrunk down but kept her impossibly anxious personality; Gaseous is basically all the same, except he doesn’t meet the rest of the crew in what parts of his story I know about; Sistenagon (here we go with the weird names, they don’t mean anything) still kept his (her? Don’t actually remember which I called it) wasp-y nature, except in the form of an insect-based fairy tribe leader; Stelerachyt, who I drew as a Diamond Dog, is still a big, fluffy, dog, but turned into a more regal and kingly type of person; and Myriad Alloy (the only one with an actual pony name) got a complete makeover, and actually became my favorite end result after all is said and done.

Like, I love ranting about these guys. They were basically my own Mane Six. And yes, Satyr TOTALLY dated Twilight. Why wouldn’t he? Main character a Main character. Plus, he was supposed to be me, and I totally wanted to hit that. I’m not ashamed to admit it.

I mean, I guess a big part of why I actually went down that path was because of the large fanbase. I didn’t begin with the beginning of the show, but I guess I came in with the first large wave, so all of the stuff I made got just enough attention to make me think people wanted to see what I was making. If I started out with OCs, no one would’ve cared, and I very well could’ve stopped.

Even apart from that, this show definitely kick started my downward spiral into femininity. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Everyone “knew” MLP as being something super shallow, only to be enjoyed by shallow little girls, then they pumped out Friendship is Magic and everyone else loved it, so I gave it a shot, and I loved it too. Obviously every fandom has the people who openly, irrationally hate them, but the whole thing was welcoming enough to keep it solidified in my mind, and bish bash bosh, it kept going and will probably keep going into eternity. It’s funny, even then I drew Satyr with the more feminine pony design (not entirely because drawing the male pony type was harder), so I was setting myself up for the future.

I guess this kind of gives me a window to talk about My Life as a Teenage Robot, because for as long as I could remember before actually watching the show, I seriously despised any instance of XJ9 I could find. If an image of her popped up on screen, I would close it faster than if it was porn found while around my parents. I don’t know why she was so harshly ingrained in my mind. You could argue I just hated “girly” stuff before I realized I actually loved it, and didn’t want to face my emotions, but I wasn’t exaggerating at all about that porn thing. I actually couldn’t look at her for more than a second. But, one day I decided to cave in and see what was up, and soon enough she became one of my favorite cartoon characters of all time.

Back to ponies, some of the content produced by the fandom also had some extremely fond memories in my mind. I think I still have some songs by The Living Tombstone and WoodenToaster on my MP3 player (partially because it’s just good stuff) and for some reason playing on MLP-themed TF2 servers was actually really fun too. Some notable fandom people reacting to recent episodes was a spectacle I always looked forward to, and I still am subscribed to Saberspark and Ratchet on Youtube after all this time, probably as well as various other people who are still there but haven’t posted anything since the settling of the fandom. I just remembered, Hotdiggetydemon probably qualifies for all that too, since his .Mov series was the talk of the whole fandom. That, and Friendship is Witchcraft. I had to re-look up the name of that one though, but I still loved it.

I guess I should play favorites, huh? Favorites was the one game everyone in the fandom played. 

Favorite episode: Can’t not be a tie between the 2-parters of Season 2. Discord is a riot, and Chrysalis is actually one of my favorite villain designs of all time. I’m a sucker for both shapeshifters and bugs, so you can’t expect me to not like her. Glad she rode the villain boat till the very end, although reformed Discord is definitely fine too. Plus, the rest of the Changelings turned anyway.

Favorite song: You expect me to not tie things up here? The Flim Flam brother’s Super Cider Squeezy 6000 is great, as are the brothers themselves, and I also love This Day Aria, since it’s the focal point where people realized this show seriously wasn’t just colorful, cute ponies. The Art of the Dress is also pretty catchy. 

Actually, just remembered. Under Our Spell might be it. Took me a while to remember the EQG stuff, but that song is seriously good, and unironically better than the generic dribble that somehow magically beat it.

Favorite background pony(ies): Vinyl and Octavia are a pretty cute duo, and with the killer duet in the Slice of Life episode, ya gotta love em. Funny thing, though: There’s this background pony that looks almost identical to my current self-insert pony OC, with purple hair and a grey coat, with a seemingly writing-based cutie mark and green eyes. He’s even a unicorn too. It wasn’t intentional, I swear.

Favorite CMC: Sweetie Belle is too much. Her little squeaks are too pure. I can’t take it. Applebloom has nice colors, though.

Favorite Princess: If you don’t say Luna you’re a cop

Favorite non-pony species: Obviously Changelings, but after their reformation the honors actually switch to the Kirins, just because of how cool they look. The Yaks are pretty fun too. Speaking of…

Favorite nu-Mane Six (or are they called the School Six? Whatever, you know what I mean): All Yona. And yes, I had to look up her name was, who cares? She’s adorable.

Favorite of the Pillars of Equestria: I honestly love that they made Starswirl an actual character in the show. For the longest time, people just assumed he would stay in the form of Twilight’s Nightmare Night costume forever, but then they actually made him real! That’s really cool.

Favorite Equestria Girls design: Once again, Sweetie Belle steals both this spot and my heart.

And, of course… Favorite of the Mane Six:

Honestly, it just depends on the mood I’m in. Not even remotely lying there.

Fluttershy would’ve been my answer way back then, since I was into the shy types. There’s definitely something still there. You can’t deny that she’s the most cuddly of them all.

Twilight might’ve been a tie for the top around then too, since I was also the too-smart-for-humanity type. That leads into you liking the “smart” ones. Plus, in the latter half of the series, she did feel like she was put one step above the rest of the cast. That kinda makes her feel slightly off, I guess. Still like her, though.

Pinkie Pie’s one of those that I can imagine liking, but if I ever actually had to deal with that much energy I might actually melt. And, not in that I’m-totally-in-love kind of melting. Literal, actual melting. 

Rarity, in terms of concept, is easily my favorite type of character for the show. On the surface, she’s the generic fashionista type that every girl’s show has, but instead of her being someone who “just makes clothes” she’s actually seriously hard working and goes through all the regular motions you’d expect from an artist. Turning such a cliche on its head and giving it a much more realistic image is perfect for this show. Also, she’s purple. I like purple.

Not much really needs to be said about Applejack. She really seems like the most logical one of the group, even at the very beginning. That’s great to have when everyone else is acting like spoiled/sheltered brats (at least, when she’s not acting that way either).

But, I really gotta be honest… I’m never really in the mood for Rainbow Dash. She’s like the opposite of AJ, where she’s always some degree of arrogant, and even though watching her achieve her dreams is nice, her big head gets a little annoying for side gags. Also, if you showed me a plain picture of the Mane Six, I would’ve told you she was the main character instead of Twilight, just because she stands out so much more. I mean, the show isn’t called “Twilight Sparkle: Friendship is Magic,” but still.

If you really want a straight answer, I’m in a Rarity mood right now, so I’ll go with that. It’s probably the safest bet, because, like I said, I do love purple. Not just purple, but purple AND white put together. One of my favorite color combinations. Just add a little gold, and you’re, well, you know...

But… Yeah. All good things had to come to an end. I feel like its time came. Plus, they ended the show with the little story book thing they did in the very first episode, so as far as I’m concerned the series is complete. It did its job, anyway.

[anneapocalypse]

[RvB 15.05] On [spoiler redacted]

All right, so let’s talk about Church.

This post is much more personal feelings than meta. You might not agree with me and that’s fine--I understand that character deaths can be a sensitive subject and I am not interested in telling anyone else how they should feel. These are my personal feelings only. If you want Church back, you are welcome to want Church back and I’m not here to tell you otherwise. That said--

I really do not want Church to come back.

As of now, my working theory is that the holographic message is just that, a message, possibly something from when Epsilon was alive, possibly a manipulated voice recording or one constructed outright. While the word “Alpha” is clearly intended to make us think of Alpha Church, in context it sounds much more like he’s saying “This is Church from _ _ Alpha.” The double beat of static before Alpha makes me think he said “Crash Site Alpha,” but “Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha” is also a possibility.

My favorite variant of this theory, courtesy of a comment from CheshireOfStars on the RT site (man I wish you could permalink individual comments), is that the message is a trap intended to draw the Reds and Blues out of hiding, potentially to finish them off for good. I’m hoping it’s something in that vein.

There are several reasons I do not want Church to come back.

First, I’m just not a big fan of heroic sacrifices being immediately reversed. I said the same thing right after [spoiler redacted] died in RWBY; while there are times when it works, I tend to dislike denial of death narratives generally, though it really does depend on how it’s done. I didn’t mind Donut coming back, because his death had been so senseless that it was never particularly about his character development (the point of it was to be senseless, to show that Wash was at the end of his rope), and thus he had a lot more narrative value being alive.

Church... well, Church is more complicated.

Epsilon didn’t exactly pop up as a fully formed replacement goldfish for Alpha Church immediately following his death. In fact a lot of season 7′s plot is Caboose trying to figure out how to give Epsilon a body so that... well, so that they can be friends, mostly. @epsilontucker​ wrote some great stuff here about how Epsilon doesn’t immediately take on the identity of Church, how it takes some time for him to decide that “I’m Church now.” He grows into that identity over time. So Epsilon isn’t really a “Surprise! Alpha’s not dead,” not in that context (no matter how much the writers themselves just wanted to bring Church back). If the Church in this hologram is a living Alpha or Epsilon or fragment of Epsilon (epsilon!Epsilon if you will), his appearance would be much more of a “Surprise! Church isn’t dead!” if in fact that’s what he is.

Then too, neither Alpha nor Epsilon died for nothing. They both made a sacrifice, though for different reasons. I’m pretty firmly in the camp that Alpha did know what he was doing at the end, and did it for Tex and no one else; your mileage may vary on that one. Epsilon we know gave his life for his friends, in a final selfless act that we now know allowed the Reds and Blues to not only win their battle but take Hargrove prisoner. It’s also strongly hinted that he was closer to the end of his AI lifespan than the beginning, and that that might’ve contributed to his decision.

I’m not going to say it necessarily cheapens a heroic sacrifice if the hero survives anyway, but I will say that I often find it unsatisfying. It’s not so much about believability, for me; it’s more that from a narrative standpoint, I feel like the writers are trying to have it both ways. They want all the emotional impact of a major character death in a dramatic manner, without the repercussions of actually losing that major character from the cast.

And I gotta say that on a show where it’s been done a couple of times, it gets a little old. To put it bluntly: make up your mind, Burnie. You either want to keep voicing your very special Halo OC or you don’t. (And for the record, I’m not laying it on Joe if Church comes back because I’m 99% convinced that would be Burnie’s decision either way.) If you’re done, be done. Let it go.

That’s the thing about Epsilon: his story is all about learning to let go. He’s the first version of Church who did. He’s the first one who decided to stop chasing Tex, to let her go and try to exist without her (and whether or not his forgetting Tex actually deleted her is another thing entirely and I’m not going to get into it here).

Epsilon and Carolina learn that lesson together, the importance of letting go and moving forward--and Carolina is very clearly doing her best to do that, even in her grief. She is the carrier of the Church legacy--she is the spiritual successor to Tex (and really she has been since the Chorus trilogy but that’s another post and one I need to make). Wash carries forward the legacy (and the memory, literally) of Church the leader of Blue team, but Carolina carries forward the legacy of the Church family.

Letting go has become a rather important theme in Red vs. Blue. Bringing Church back from the dead again does not play well with that theme at this point in time, regardless of which Church it is.

The “Alpha” in the message is certainly going to stir up theories that Alpha Church wasn’t destroyed in the EMP, so here’s why I don’t want it to be Alpha, specifically:

From both a character standpoint and a narrative standpoint, Alpha Church might not fit so well with the Blood Gulch characters anymore.

That doesn’t mean they no longer care about him. It doesn’t mean they don’t miss him. But he has been gone for years. Alpha being dropped back into the cast would be a major adjustment at the very least. If Epsilon was pissed at Wash taking his place on Blue team, can you fucking imagine how Alpha would react to that? Alpha never showed the kind of affection for Caboose that Epsilon developed over time; how would he treat Caboose? How would he treat Tucker? Hell, Epsilon was gone for mere weeks and acted shocked and affronted upon his return at Tucker’s (then) modest character development. How would Alpha act toward him, having witnessed none of his development since Blood Gulch?

Alpha and Epsilon were both Church, but they weren’t the same person. And I’m not saying I don’t like Alpha; I do, very much, and always have. But that’s not the question--it’s whether his return would make for a good story, and I feel that barring some very careful handling (of the sort that would take considerable time away from plot), no, bringing Alpha back to the cast would not be good story.

As a final note, I really, really do not want this season to become a direct parallel of Halo 5... but that’s another post.

In conclusion, I do not think bringing Church back in any iteration serves either the story or the extensive character development we’ve seen over the past several seasons, I don’t think it’s a good fit for the overall themes of the series, and I’m hoping the message is a red herring leading into some other kind of plot development.